the gig, the gal and the gutter

today would be angela bofill's free concert at glorietta. i wish i could make it tonight. ShopBud and i initially planned on going, but now she's backing out. i could go on my own..i mean, it's not a big big venue...we'll see. if the recording wouldn't push thru today, that would mean at least a couple of hours sleep for me. and if i get some sleep, that means i could go watch angela bofill tonight! yes!! or i could file for leave tonight. hmm. and tomorrow. hmm...

yesterday, went into retail therapy. first with ShopBud for my flattering top. panalo. and then when i got home, my sister arrived a few minutes after, tricked me into getting inside her car and kidnapped me. went to the mall. so i went shopping again. a casual but not so casual top, cocksucker red lipstick (again! i think i lost the other one...argh!), spongebob slippers for my bebe (still thinking if i'd give that on christmas***, along with the other gifts..), and other stuff that are not bagay for making kwento here in my blog. wehehehe. went home after, slept for an hour and a half, woke up for the gig.

the gig was okay. people enjoyed our set. the singers were great (of course!). the kids were a little off when we started but they were good at recovering, so everything turned out fine. we only had to play two sets instead of the requested three because another band was there to end the night. it was mike the byker's birthday celebration and he wanted us to just enjoy the evening after our set. one person definitely had fun..but crashed a few hours later.

ContraDiva got too drunk.

she was dancing and had too much red wine. when we were about to go home, that's when she took the plunge. whoa. she went scubadiving i think. to cut the long story short, i had to bring her home to qc, bring her up to her flowerpower room, push her drukenness to bed, remove her belt so she could breathe. good thing there was an available driver, coz i dont think i'd be able to bring her home on my own, and park her car without any damage. hahahaha! and then i had to go back to makati for work. got here past 3 in the morning..more than two hours late. (as if!)

pulled over a couple of times for her gutter arias.

so i dunno if recording will push thru this afternoon. if it doesn't, then i hope i catch angela tonight. and look for a drinking/coffee/movie bud after.


***
speaking of christmas..my bebe is so sweet! as i was looking for my original cocksucker red lipstick, i accidentally got hold of a bag with idontknowwhatsinside. i almost found out. my bebe grabbed the bag from my hands and hid it behind his back. it was his christmas gift for me! for mamy! he scolded me for being so impatient. i assured him that i never found out what's inside. he seemed satisfied.

i love my bebe mucho mucho. mucho mucho my bebe i love.

gig-a-bykes

gig tonight at bykes. it's "time-to-drown-my-sorrows" night!
tonight will also be the "karen tells the kids" night. i'm a bit nervous as to what their reactions will be, but i'll try to be brave.

no outfit yet for the gig. ShopBud is so great she'll sacrifice a few hours of shut-eye just to help me pick out the most flattering top for the gig. mwahmwahmwah!

had an eat-all-you-can ice cream "date" yesterday. much needed.

hope things are better tonight.

two tests :)

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

Steady Supporter

Stand by your man — that's just something you naturally do. Once you've committed to a relationship, you are a constant companion who enjoys the comfort and stability that comes from being a couple. Not quick to judge, accuse, or think the worst, you have a lot of trust (in him and in yourself), and you rarely worry about where he is or who he's with.

For you, mutual respect is of utmost importance. You are comfortable and confident in your own skin, making you a great pillar of strength in all your relationships. Whether he's striving to climb a mountain or land a promotion, you have his back. Best part is, you know he's got yours too.

Are You A Sex Goddess?

A brilliant bolt of lightning descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken!
The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being,
the Goddess ATHENA.

You're a powerful woman who knows what she wants and just how to get it. Of all the deities, you come closest to the modern woman. Strong and sensual, you're someone who doesn't shy away from a challenge. In fact, it's precisely the challenge that excites you. You have no tolerance for traditional gender roles, so seduction is your specialty. You probably have no problem being the aggressor, nor do you mind being in control of a relationship. In bed, you might even take the lead and make sure that nothing's over until you are thoroughly satisfied. Your self-confidence and security have allowed you to use your sexuality exactly the way that pleases you. Your lovers undoubtedly sense your inner divinity and worship your ways. You demand and receive respect from whomever you decide to bed. And like a light from the heavens, your partner discovers your true inner nature. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!

what day is it today?

sunday was..what sunday??

after Mother Soccer's party, since we weren't drunk yet, we decided to go to Sola's for a round of beers. i didn't get to finish mine though coz i was sleepy, but the discussion was alive as ever. like what i said in my previous blog, something happened at MS's party that kept us yakking til 630a! got home at 7a, took a shower, slipped into my mickeymouse lingerie and slept until 5pm. sheesh!

i finally got me out of bed, took another shower, brought everyone to hear Mass. i needed it. i haven't eaten anything yet and figured that i might just be spiritually hungry. yeah! it helped. met up with friends at oody's, was forced to have dinner and went to Sola's again for a nightcap. well, they needed to drink. i needed coffee. so GuitarGoddess and i went to Figaro instead. had my cafe mocha fix. yum.

and then. monday was...what monday??
i got home at around 1a. decided that i had to sleep. fell asleep, luckily. and then at 245a, i thought i got a call from a friend, begging to see me. i had to check my call details if i did receive a call to make sure that no one was waiting for me outside. after that i couldnt sleep. i slept at 7a again. woke up at 5p, again. had to leave for recording..that turned out to be a drinking session..to drown everyone's sorrows.

cheers to that!

drama queen

had a great gig last saturday.
too great that it added to my blues. right after the gig, this girl and Ms.AD stole me from the crowd and started talking business. they were convincing me to sing for this other band. this girl, a lawyer volunteered to draft a contract for me, to show that my priority is still the kids, and not this new band. and then they said that Ms. AD could be my manager. arrgh. told them ContraDiva is my personal manager, and that i have no plans of leaving the kids coz i love them already. they were swinging from the "you're young, very talented and in demand. grab the opportunity!" to the " you'll earn a steady 12k a month for your twice a wk hotel gigs, plus more for special gigs...you could quit your call center job and do what you love!" i wasn't that convinced, i dunno why. the blues got to me. it was soo overwhelming. imagine having a manager and lawyer just for stuff like this?! i'm not even an artista! i've got so many apprehensions..pressure!
this thing the kids and i actually discussed briefly last ensayo. they said they were gonna break my neck if i decided to leave them. haha! carino brutal. i like it. i found it really sweet. really.
so that's #1...for saturday. i've had a couple of issues that week i dont feel like sharing yet.

#2. went to Mother Soccer's party after.
of course, had to change my top coz i was so dugyot already from all the pawis and the rain. i was hoping i'd get sick, but i didn't. anyway, my top was a bit sexy i think, plus i was wearing ContraDiva's chainchainchain necklace (which Paparas keeps calling blankblank 'stead of blingbling coz it was just silver and didn't have any value..) so i think the tendency was to look at my chest area. stupid me didnt notice that until late late later that night, when i was just among close friends and four new friends, two of them i think are into me. hahaha! the other one was definitely more obvious..saving me from vodka vanilia shots ( after 10 glasses of vodka, how do you expect me to be so looking forward to vodka shots ha?). he always finished up what i couldn't finish drinking..around 1/3 of my drink, without me even asking him to. sweet. he just looked at me and knew i needed help, and so after that first shot that i didn't get to finish, he made sure he was beside me everytime it was my turn. what a sweetie. i'm such a sucker. wahaha. though, this guy's not really my type. but i could go out with him...let's see.
but that wasn't #2 in my drama issues. something happened last saturday that made me doubt some of my friends. and it affects me so much because we've been friends for almost 15 years. i remember giving this advice to my friend who felt betrayed by some friends,

"don't be what they've been to you because you are not that person. but remember
to put them in their place, so you'll never be in this same situation again. "

naks, drama. but i got to use that for a while. and it worked for me. i don't know if it works for other people though.

issue#3. so cliche. and what's more cliche than heart ailments...i mean problems. not for blogging. yet. i think pretty soon it will be. when i rid myself of heartaches. how sad!

you see, there are issues in my life that i sort into confrontational and non-confrontational bins. most of those things closest to my heart i stash into the non confrontational bin. i dunno why, maybe to protect myself. maybe to protect them. i give so much of myself to people i care about the most, that hurting them would be hurting me. i've learned or struggled to be more selfish, for my sanity. hahahaha! but i can't be too careful, coz that would kill me. i need to feel alive. and if occasional outbursts of agony and pain would give that, then i'd muster enough courage to face those things that would make me feel alive...thinking, hoping and keeping in mind that my time will come soon. and then i'd be able to wear this drama queen shirt with a grin.

i missed this...it is kinda accurate....creepy!

THE X OF FEATHERSPity-Party! And you’re all invited! A group of travelers cross a field. Feathers fall from the sky. When they land, they turn to crosses.Look, I don’t mean to belittle your pain or anything. But look at the picture. No, the bigger picture, you dope! It’s not really all that bad.You are blowing everything out of proportion. Step back, take a breath, and take another look. What’s fallen upon you is not a cross — just feathers.This is a card of minor annoyances turned into infectious aggravational slings n’ arrows. Keep your eyes and mind open and try to see things for what they are.

gigs galore.

i've two gigs tonight. one for the chorale, and one for the combo. but they're in one venue. one event...st. paul parish street party fiesta in timog avenue, would you believe that?! funny thing, it's one after the other. first the chorale at 730p, i think. and then the combo at 8p. gosh. talk about extreme exposure. sheesh.

we had another ensayo tonight, which i attended. we had a scheduled recording for the chorale tonight, which i obviously didn't go to. maybe my chorale buds think that ContraDiva and i will be quitting the chorale soon...i dunno. we enjoy our sessions, but sometimes they ask too much from us. oh well, we'll see.

it's Mother Soccer's birthday thingie tonight at 77. i swore not to get dead drunk, just enough to make me happy for tonight.

hmm. as if there's a reason to celebrate. i was in my funky mood yesterday. skipped work. i was in bed for almost 24 hours. i got home at around 1230p i think. exhausted and hungry, i plopped into bed and never got up. i didn't know what was wrong, i still don't know what happened, why that happened. i was awake a couple of times, when my sister entered my room, when my kid entered the room, when my maid entered the room. i was able to carry out decent conversations with them, i just dont know why i couldn't bring myself out of bed. i even got to watch princess diaries on cable. and the reason why i kinda sensed something was off with me... i cried watching princess diaries! so i knew. but i still don't know why. i got up around 1030a the following day not because i wanted to. wasn't even hungry. but i had to do some stuff.

i'd like to think that i was just tired and that my body demanded some rest. i don't think feeling bluesy would help me these days.

who is ?

a drunken ContraDiva wrote this in my realworld notebook journal a few minutes before 12 midnight a while ago, after ensayo. while the "kids" (our bandmates. this is what they call each other) were refilling their tummies with kfc and beers, ContraDiva was lost in her reverie. it wasn't until later that i found out what she was writing in my journal.

Karen

Who is Karen?
Karen .... is, I would like to think, the gasoline sprayed to the fire within whomever she befriends .... the lemon juice squeezed over the fresh open wound on the flesh of your forearm .... the amplifier, the fog light. the magnifying glass.

and then i had to pry my realworld notebook journal from her hands because i had to leave for work. so i think this one is unfinished.

i take it as a compliment though. i would have to ask her what exactly she was thinking of when she wrote this.

alcohol fuels our soul.

great expectations

finally got to watch the exorcist. and after weeks of anticipation, i stepped out of the movie theater disappointed. it was not scary as i had expected. and i know it's not just me. some of my friends who already saw the exorcist was not as thrilled either...

maybe i expected too much?

the same thing happened with my blog. or with the other blog i just created. i found it sooo hard to manage...so frustrating! i've been blogging for three or four months now. though i know nothing about html, i didn't really encounter any problems creating this one. so why am i getting so confused doing the other one? haaay..

after band practice last night, while they were drinking their beers and eating their sushi, i picked up a guitar and started strumming. man, it felt good to play! i haven't done it in a long while and my fingers just naturally warmed up. saraaap. they said i was a natural rhythm guitarist, naks! of course i don't agree with them coz i don't know much about guitars. but they seemed pretty excited that i did know how to play it. they recently ordered a guitar from the States and they're just waiting for it to get shipped. they said that i could use that one for our gigs..if i wanted to. hell... yeah!

maybe this time they're expecting too much from me...weheheh.

fear factor

you know how sometimes something you say hits you right in the head, especially when you don't really expect to hear it, but you do just the same?

that just happened to me a few hours ago.

we were talking about our relationships with these other people when i mentioned that i was afraid of emotional intimacy. whaaat??

am i commitment phobic?

commitment phobic sounds like a terrible disease. emotional intimacy phobic doesn't sound that baad, right? hmm..thinking about it right now..these are two different things.
emotional intimacy phobic: can commit. scared to bare soul and show skin.
commitment phobic: can not commit. not scared to bare soul and show skin.

hehehe. i can't think of anything else. but i guess the comparison is enough..wajathink?

so to answer that question - no, i am not commitment phobic. nor am i scared of emotional intimacy...anymore! (kachingkachingkaching!!!)

my friend says it's easy to get over the hurt. way back when i was crazy and younger, which was the last time i got hurt, my world was crushed into pieces, my heart was deepfried. now that i'm crazier and still young, if ever i fall in love again, i will make sure to bubblewrap my world and keep in mind that steaming is healthier than deepfrying.

the only reason why i think i have relationship phobia is because i have a trust issue. i know i'm sanely forgiving. but to lie to me about something just shows that these guys think i'm dumb. which shouldn't be my problem.

so, why do i think will i survive the relationship thing?
1. i want to.
2. i want to.
3. i decided that i'd trust myself more now. i just can't leave it to them - they're out of my control.
4. i want to.

with a coy grin and a handsome guy holding my hand, i'm all set to go.

coming to you in three's.

(luckily, this one i got to save..)

the scientific fish.
i've always had interesting conversations with ET. most of the time though, we don't get to discuss them in detail, so a "for later" list came about. funny thing is, we never get to discuss whatever's on that "for later" list, and the more we have our conversations, the more we have "for later" topics to list down, adding one "for later" topic to another. what i have right now is a longer, growing "for later" list.


like the other day, i think. we are both pisceans. and one fish trait that we share is that we both trust our intuitions. but, this guy employs science (ok, the scientific process..whatever) to validate his intuitions. and it works! for him, at least. so i told him, between us two, he's the fish with the "scientific intuition." he liked it, so i guess he agrees with that... i think.


another thing that i thought i shared with all the other fishes in the sea - being dreamy, romantic. actually, i think my sappy notion of love and romance is more theatrical. or pocketbookish. or cinematographic. i don't think i share that with him..i haven't really inspected his gills for signs yet. thinking about it now, i don't think i share that with any fish i know..or with anyone, for that matter. hmm.. maybe it's really just me then. hehehe...


anyway, the latest addition to the "for later" list: "decreasing impulsiveness could lessen the kilig factor." he asked me to note that one. so i took out my real-world notebook journal and wrote it. when i reminded him that the list was getting longer, he said that we should make it a point to discuss the topics in the "for later" list.


and so the note to that other note was noted.


when it rains, it pours like thunderstorm.
i've seen that for some of my friends, this is so true for their dating stats. i would have made a testimonial on this one 9 or 10 years ago, the prime of my dating career...if i may call it that. but, i burrowed through my forest of hiatal love, vowed to stay incarcerated for prision mayor, at least, and test the waters only when the sharks have all been fed.

i got bored.

so now, i'm out again. waiting for a thunderstorm...and until that cute crazy sexy funny smart guy(otherwise known as that guy i will love and love me back forever) appears from wherever, i guess i'll just enjoy getting wet in the rain.

hopefully i don't get struck by lightning or pneumonia.


gastronomical.
it always feels good to go back to your roots.
and so yesterday, i rekindled my love affair with my adobo, the first dish that i learned how to cook.

i missed her. i don't exactly remember the last time i tasted her on my lips. but i know it had been a while. i missed the smell of sweet garlic on my fingers. it had a masculine scent to it, that perfectly complimented the femininity of my chicken. touching tender legs, breasts, soaked in soysauce, vinegar...i missed that terribly. but i guess it's hard to forget something as sensual, delicious as that. i made a mean adobo last night. uhm. definitely satisfying.

and then there's strawberry fruitella. again. i bought two packs the last time. it didnt last an hour.

and then there might be a feast tonight. we'll see. :)

i hate not having my own workstation

i was halfway done with an entry i started at around 2 this morning, when this pc suddenly decided to shut down for some weird reason.

aaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!

retail therapy yesterday.
i got myself a pair of really nice corduroys.

badminton after.

beer-drinking after that.

me hungry.

i had pancakes for breakfast. alone.

dark, cold, rainy weather, i like. no sun to hurt my eyes. i walked casually to the paseo center with a smug look on my face. i think i'd like to get used to eating breakfast alone. :)

downside to eating alone...the guard was staring at me while i was eating. asar. i wasn't in a fighting mood this morning..sayang. something exciting could have happened...

i haven't had any sleep. didn't get to sleep during break. i'd have to go to ate's school for card day. and then i have badminton from 6-8p. maybe i could catch some zzz's after? or maybe i'd just skip badminton tonight and get a drink somewhere...catch a friend's gig at saguijo tonight...hmmm..

i want some icecream!

time to suckle, baby.

i am soo tired.

i think my body is on the verge of giving up on me. desperate for a break. i haven't had a decent sleep for the past days. i don't really have a problem with it, but my body seems to. always doing something. always going somewhere. always preoccupied. my body demands some tlc. i need a massage.

now, i am amongst people i dont know. people from another department. because there weren't enough workstations in my department, they had to hie me off to another world. i'm actually okay with this. i don't have to talk to anyone. i can do whatever i want, since my supervisor is so far away from me. i have my own private world. hmmm...i should do this more often. after being isolated, i checked on the dejadeck. and this was what i got. pretty accurate. galing!

THE QUEEN OF FEATHERS The Queenly type.She is reclined and aloof. She has earned this place.The Queen of Feathers worked her way up from the bottom, but has reached a plateau and can afford to knock off for a while.A benevolent, helpful soul, and a good person to know.She makes a good partner, if you are male, or, if female, you should keep your standards as high as your position as you look for a mate.

i got home before 6p yesterday. had to do some voice over for autoreview. left makati pretty late because it was raining so hard! i think i left the office a little before or after 2p, and i haven't had lunch yet. i was craving for some sinigang or nilaga, but since i was running late, i told myself that i'd just grab a slice of pizza on my way home. passed by goldilocks, saw a poster of their sinigang meal, went inside and had hot sinigang. so much for the pizza. hehe.

i wasn't even dreaming yet when i got three missed calls from ContraDiva. finally answered the fourth call. ensayo was scheduled at 6pm and it was already a few minutes past 7.

"Asaan ka naaa???"
"Bahay. Sleeping. San ka na?"
"Bilis."
"Ok. Ligo lang."

brief but sweet. my bandmates know my sked, so they never really expect me to be there on time. so, after taking a shower, i step out into the rain and haul myself over to band practice. we're preparing for two gigs, street party on sept 25, st paul parish, and a 3 set gig at bykes on sept 29.

im getting bored. let's see what dejadeck has for me..again. :) after asking the secret question..

17 – THE STAR Nurturing and growth. This is a time to suckle, baby. Your nourishment will be given to you, either by trends in the cosmos, or by someone you know.It’s not necessarily that you’re recovering from some tragedy. Everyone gets hungry from time to time. Now is your dinner. And it will be provided for you.Turn to a friend and don’t let your pride stand in the way of accepting his/her offerings and generosity. You’d do it for them, right? Remember: What Goes Around Comes Around

Of course i'd do it for them. so, bring it to me. i wanna suckle!!!!! NOW!!!!

my horror fix.

finally finally finally.... i got my horror flick fix!!! as in big screen horror flick fix. a few days ago, i saw night of the living dead on cable. i've seen that movie a couple of times, and i still get a kick watching those zombies do whatever they do in slow-mo! yeah!

there are a bunch of movies that i'd like to watch and they're showing right now.
exorcist. i NEED to watch this. saw the trailer yesterday and it was really really scary. i get really excited just thinking about it. excited and scared. can't wait!
13 going on 30. tweetums but when i saw the trailer a month ago, i found it funny.
dodgeball. i love ben stiller. (aside from adam sandler..) i have to watch this. sooo funny.

i tried out the deja deck. it was pretty accurate..i think. right now. i got madonna - the high priestess.

LostStudent was the only one who responded to my SOS text last night. she agreed to watch feng shui with me!!! yahoo!! we met at 915p for the last full show. saya! i used to not watch tagalog movies. until those artsy-fartsy film people came out. started watching interesting movies, like biyaheng langit, radyo. again, a sucker for horror movies, i watched some pinoy horror flicks too, like sanib, bahay ni lola. but it's been a long time since i've seen anything like feng shui. i mean i hate how kris aquino emotes on screen, but it feels good to scream..whether it's out of disgust or the scare factor working. saya!! LS and i were laughing and screaming..crazy! after that we went to 77. when we got there, Coach (LS's bf ) and his friend thought we were either on drugs or intoxicated. we were that crazy, i guess. GuitarGoddess and her media friends were at bsm, so we were supposed to go there. but they decided to go to 77 instead. finally met lispy iris. more kwento on that later.

autoreview asked me to be their regular female voice talent!! yahoo! i'm so happy! i've been lucky these past days..

and then, a friend surprised me. i'm a sucker for surprises too. i love giving surprises, so i've been secretly wanting, waiting, hoping for a surprise. hehehe..glad i got one.

hit me baby one more time!

for the first time after so many months of sausage mcmuffin breakfasts, i ditched my friends for a chance to spend a few minutes alone. or did they ditch me? hmmm... for a moment there i felt like spongebob admiring his crabby patty. hah! but i had a journal to distract me. and a hashbrown. and oj. yumyum.
i'm actually a little oc when i eat at mcdonald's..dunno if i got this from our t.h.e. lessons back in highschool for table settings..wahahah!
for breakfast:
hotchoco/coffee - upper right hand corner
oj - upper left hand
napkins - lower left
hashbrown - left center
sausage mcmuffin - right
for my cheeseburger/quarterpounder/mcchicken meal:
drink - upper left hand corner
fries - upper right
burger - center
fries should be salted, ketchup squeezed out (suck sachet to make sure it's empty-tho i try not to do this anymore), burger pressed.
and all these eaten on the tray. of course i try to make adjustments when i have a sundae or pie.

had a busy weekend.

friday had me running to manila for my voice over thingie for AutoReview right after work. got paid, yehey! that night was fellowship night for the Minstrels, which ContraDiva and i flaked on coz we were busy dancing the night away with our chorale buddies at the Camp Aguinaldo for a Batch 65 and 70 dance party reunion. i had on my cleavage showing top, cocksucker red lipstick on so i wasn't surprised when one of my friends suggested i go onstage and be a ledge dancer. whoa. she said i looked so groovy. especially when i was doing the Jerk. naks! of course i didn't. didn't wanna steal the scene from other groovy-during-their-time mommas on the dancefloor. anyway, i got a call from our guitarist, asking where we were and why we didn't show up for fellowship night. good thing i had an excuse. the chorale was asked to sing at the reunion. again, i enthralled them with my Let It Be and Yesterday solos (ContraDiva's part, but she had to be somewhere else or be with someone else that time so she left early). It was a great ego boost; they were just watching us but after hearing me sing, they clapped and hollered! On my way to the restroom after, i got pulled over a couple of times for congratulatory remarks. hanep. hehehe.
okay. enough of that.

saturday. i dont exactly remember what happened last saturday. i think i just stayed home. oh, went to the studio to cure the recording that we used for sunday's wtc gig. right. stayed there until 3 freakin am. when i got home, i had to study my britney song, so i ended up getting sleep at 430am.

sunday. we were supposed to meet at phoenix at 1030am. they did. i got there at 1230. went to wtc after. performed, got applauded. sister jo (stc nun, chorale antagonist) loved our show. i got over exposed again..and i'm hating it. first was sister act. then a duet with ContraDiva, then the Beatles thing. but, as my friend said, this is where i will get discovered. thing is, i'm not sure if i wanna get discovered. they might think of me as showbizzy, but i dont like it so much. they don't believe me though, so tough luck.
oh, but i got to shop!! the tf that i got from my VO thingie, i told myself i'd put it aside for a rainy day. and i think it rained that day, so now it's gone. all gone. i spent more than i wanted to, but left me feeling happy. my shopping cart:
1. rainstick(i've been calling it rainmaker for the longest time...) and it was a steal! i think. i got the large one for 200 bucks! he liked my voice, and the way i sang moved him so he gave me a discount. and like a trueblooded native, he offered to trade/barter. when i come out with my cd, he says, we could trade...so i got his card. hehehe..feeling!
2. jeans. i rarely buy jeans outside the mall. i got this one for 500 bucks. was haggling for a lower price. my charms rarely work on girls anyway. haay.
3. a juicy shirt. an expensive one. i got this for 500 bucks too. a pink shirt with "old school juicy" in silver. really cute. couldn't resist. haaay.
4. pillows!!! who could resist buy one take one on pillows?! soft, big, fluffy, plump pillows!!! sarap! i got a pair, queen size, for 450 bucks. haaay...heavenly. i would let you use it when you sleep over. promise. hehe.
5. chicken longganisa and embutido and garlic batute (whatever that means). sarap. i forgot how much i bought these for.
had coffee with the girls at coffee bean. wasnt as therapeutic as before, but at least i got to write in my real world notebook journal while waiting for them.

monday.
makati shang birthday gig with ContraDiva. we've been spending so much time together lately. i dunno if that's good or not. hehehe. anyway, we didn't like this gig so much because of the pressure...we needed to sing tagalog songs for the 70 year old guy celebrating his bday. although it was an intimate party for 20-30 people, our booking agent (ms. Art D) overstressed that this was a formal event. so, after rushing to get tagalog songs, formal outfits and thru traffic - after ContraDiva bullied TMG - we got to the venue at820pm. an hour late. (we saw martin nievera..such a cutie, with cutie del mar, whoever she is..) anyway, turns out the affair wasnt a strictly formal event, people were wearing jeans...que horror! and we had shawls on..gosh! it was a relaxing affair though, touching, brought tears to our eyes. best thing...we got paid! well, we were expecting to get paid, although we weren't sure how much. it was enough. yehey!

after the gig, had coffee with ET. apparently, the wolves in his wall came out and he had to deal with those wolves so i wasn't able to reach him for a time. he is better, he says, so that's good. i think he is better coz he took a picture of my feet. hopefully just a picture and not pictures. this guy is like a little boy playing with his camera, with a treacherous smile on his face, so i'm not sure if he took pics of me when he was pretending he wasn't...i hope this is just paranoia setting in. hahahahah!

had a great night. i discovered a friend's band's demo tape, a recording of my sister 10 years ago (she was 3 then) and my clash tape. nakakatuwa. and i wrote a one stanza song.

tuesday.
my britney recording. groovy and tiring. i had to stay in character, which was hard coz im not a slut. i had to keep telling myself, "i am britney, i am britney." so i could get her TH sounding r&b uhms and ahhs. got a downpayment. good enough.

went home happy and almost satisfied. i decided to go to work.

"anything other than mad, passionate love is just a waste of time."

i suddenly remembered this quote that i got from this movie. i'm surprised that i still know it by heart. i definitely would have to get a copy of this movie for myself.

plot summary (imdb.com)
A girl with insomnia who works in a coffee house (Ione Skye) has impossibly high standards for her love and fears she will never meet a worthy man. Then in walks a new employee (Mackenzie Astin) and they click - until she discovers he has a girlfriend. Undaunted, she moves to L.A. with a friend (Jennifer Aniston) sure that he will dump the girlfriend and follow her. She puts all her faith in fate and hopes for the best.

Memorable Quotes from Dream for an Insomniac (1996)
Frankie : Anything other than mad, passionate love is just a waste of time
Frankie : Choices are like connecting highways. They all take you to the same place. Some just take longer to get there.
Frankie : There are too many mediocre things in this world to deal with, love shouldn't have to be one of them.
Frankie : I am going to circumnavigate his soul until he is surrounded on all sides by my love.
David Schrader : Life can only be understood backwards.
Frankie : Why is everyone always telling me to be nice?
Frankie : Never trust a man who doesn't have eyes like Sinatra.
Frankie : Sometimes I study the Trivial Pursuit cards.
Frankie : [Referring to Molly Monday] Would you do it with someone whose last name is the worst day of the week?
Frankie : I wish I was like you, easily amused. David Schrader : Ouch! Kurt Cobain.
Frankie : There is no chance at all. We are all trapped by a singular fate. No one ever finds the one.
Uncle Leo : You going to listen to garbage music all day?
Frankie : It's like a trinity. If Bono is God then Eddie Vedder would be Jesus.
David Schrader : I love you Frankie. Frankie : You do? David Schrader : Yeah I do. Frankie : I loved you first. David Schrader : I love you more. Frankie : Only because you're bigger.

Several of the quotes used throughout the story are:
"There is no chance at all. We are all trapped by a singular fate. No one ever finds the one." Charles Bukowski
"In order to win, you must expect to win." Dan Fouts
"Every action and pursuit is thought to aim at some good. The good has rightly been declared to be that at which all things aim." Aristotle "Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers." Lord Tennyson
"I am now a central part of your mind's landscape whether you care or do not." Steven Morrissey
"I am troubled immeasurably by your eye. I am struck by the feather of your soft reply. The sound of glass speaks quick disdain and conceals what your eyes fight to explain." Jim Morrison
"The lady will have the linguini with clam sauce and a Coke, no ice. Remember, wherever you are, that's the place to be. Isn't this great?" Mike Damone, Fast Times at Ridgemont High
"I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got in the register." H.I. McDonnough, Raising Arizona
"Worship the music, not the musicians." Eddie Vedder
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." George Bernard Shaw
"Life can only be understood backwards." Kierkegaard "I wish I was like you, easily amused." Kurt Cobain
"Love is all you need." John Lennon

The accents that Allison demonstrates are: French, Irish, Southern, snotty-rich, New York, Canadian, and sub-continental Indian.

David (Mackenzie Astin) says that 'cazique' is the highest scoring word in Scrabble. 'Quartzy' is the highest scoring word (162 points), with 'cazique' and 'bezique' running in second at a 161 points.

my sked.

i found this on my workstation: a friend's healthy options calendar. let's see if this is as healthy as it should be.

january
there are no rules. just follow your heart. - robin williams
this guy is a romantic. and he could get me in trouble. all the romantics cry or wail at some point in their lives...do you really think i want that? i think i still would, for the right guy. thing is, how will i be able to tell if this guy is the right guy? how will i know if this guy is the perfect guy, destined (oh no that word!!!) for an on/off romantic like me? for a romantic, this is the first line of a love story. for a cynic, this is a tragedy. so am i saying i'm more of a cynic than a romantic? i hope not. i know i wouldn't mind the pain, or the tears as long as it's for someone i love dearly. i'm hoping i dont miss the signs. the universe conspires, they say. either i haven't wished hard enough, or it's the universe saying, "get a grip, lady!" i should've made my own calendar and wrote this: follow your heart. love me..or else. wahahaha....crazy stalker to start your year. that should put you at the edge of your seat - for the rest of the year!

february
when love is not madness, it is not love. - william shakespeare
ooohh..this one i like. there was this movie, dream for an insomniac. there was this line there, anything other than mad, passionate love is a waste of time. yeah baby!

september
if you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - katherine hepburn
this one! could this really be true? (hehehe...)

november
to play it safe is not to play. - mae west
this one is..

i know, i cheated. the other quotes didn't seem as interesting. plus, i have to run to the AutoReview people around lunch time. i got another VO job. and then, i have a gig to watch and a dance party to go to. that's for today.
tomorrow, i still have work. after work, no plans yet.
sunday, bantaybata gig at the world trade center. i got so many solos!!! argh. there's my sister act solo, my solo solo, my beatles solo, and then my duet with ContraDiva. and the oldies want to party after that!
monday, i have my britney recording (bigger budget if i can do the back up track too!), and then dinner time is birthday gig at makati shang. and then straight to work again...

that means: 3 paying jobs for the weekend! i need it to take my mind off things. i hope i don't buy shoes again. or a book. or a cd. or splurge on whatever catches my eye. (not boys.) i'm saving up for my sagada trip, my san juan batangas trip, and hopefully a bangkok trip.

oh shit. monday's sugarfree's launch. i promised i'd go. argh. how to be in two places at the same time...going to the launch means no money for me, but a possible date. what to choose..love/lust. money. waaaahhh...

hotpinkvillagecasualmarycosmicargh.

who would've thought there'd ever come a time i'd be associated with barbie? barbie as in mattel barbie. malibu barbie. i often felt like playing silver bullets atop the bayabas tree than brush barbie's wavy hair. although i admit, i played with a number in my almost non-existent tweetum years. ugh.

i have hot pink shoes. ooohh..just like barbie's. i bought it a few months ago, and everytime i felt a little low, i'd wear those. (my cortez has the same effect by the way...love ko shoes ko!) it was a spur of the moment thing. i originally wanted red shoes, but they didnt have my size...only the hot pink ones fit. and the beige ones. but beige was too safe and boring. so i bought my hot pink shoes. groovy.

went dinner-dancing-singing at the manila hotel, rubbing elbows with the diplomatic corps and the spouses of the heads of missions in my hotpink ensemble. wahahaha. black with hot pink. black turtleneck with black skirt.(the black skirt i've had for ten years, but it was the first time i got to use it.) then my hotpink shoes. my newly bought hotpink bag, to match my hotpink shoes. and my pink bling-bling earrings. fun.

before that, i had to offer arranged flowers, as specified in the pta letter that i got, to mama mary. this was done during my kid's program at school. all the homeroom presidents were asked to offer flowers. one obnoxious parent (actually she's the obnoxious mom i dont like) got insecure that my flowers were bigger and better, looked more expensive than the one she was offering. leche siya. noveau riche.

and then they saw how cutie my bebe was. :) i asked teacher my if aiken was having a hard time catching up, having been absent for about three weeks..she said no. now that made my day! proud mamy, i am.

got to talk to cosmicboy, thru chat. it was tragic. almost. i think. tragic. confusing. heartbreaking. he bought his plane ticket already, so he'll definitely be here this november. and he was asking me so many questions i didnt want to answer, or didnt know how to answer. he wanted me to tell him already if i'd still want to see him or not. why is this so difficult? i tried to tell him my reasons, but each time, it didnt come out good. he said he'd risk loving his best friend's wife if he had to, because he loved me. why is this so difficult.

the village is still showing at robinson's galleria and sm fairview..that should excite me. but i cant watch it when i leave the office coz im in my smart casual bling-bling outfit. i shouldnt care. not right now.

but i still do. hah!

playing with the devil

tonight, i was presented with options:

option 1.
GO HOME or SLEEP. after moving our sked three hours before one am, they ask us to go home. argh.

option 2.
RICE or ROLL. kfc is the hottest thing since ministop. kfc is now 24 hours. kfc has rolls. kfc has so many customers one would have the :
option 2a. eat in and smell like: option 2a1. chicken
2a2. call center agents
option 2b. not eat in and smell fine.


i'm playing literati with the devil.
almost opted out. his winning word - shit.
nice game.

shopaholicalism

it's freezing cold!!

when i said christmas in september, i didnt mean for it to be like this. but..yesterday marked the first day of my christmas shopping. kakatawa. i never did this before. i wanted to buy office clothes, not christmas gifts. ShopBud and i were in Rustan's when i suddenly had the urge to go up to the 4th floor (ata!) no clothes there, just stuff for the house. and then some kinda force dragged my feet, and then suddenly...before me were a bunch of santa heads. santa was too cute to resist.

i've had this santa affair for 3 years or more now, i think. i decided to end it last year. mrs. santa was just too nice. it was hard to let go, but i had to. started to suffocate me, so i decided to end it. gave some away. but seeing santa again after so many months...santa was definitely back. i bought two and had them giftwrapped.

so it's official..it's christmas season in my book.

i got home a few minutes after 5, exhausted and a little excited. whenever i get that feeling, i don't go straight to the shower. i strip and lie down in bed. i like the feeling of sheets on my body. i think i was sleeping for an hour when i suddenly heard sobbing and wailing. got up, ran downstairs and saw my poor bebe. kawawa super. he couldn't even tell me what happened. i thought something really bad happened to him. fighting mode ako bigla. between sobs, he said that his busmates grabbed his arms, put it behind his back. the evil assistant and the student assistants of the evil assistant held on to his legs and knees..and then they tickled him. and when he was shouting the evil assistant put his hand over my kid's mouth. he was tortured. kawawa. so i grabbed my phone and started yakking away. sabi ko pa dun sa owner, "sabihan mo yang mga tao mo, ha. at sabihin mo maghanda siya sa akin.." hahahaha! the owner was apologetic. dapat lang. my kid doesnt want to ride his van anymore. haay naku. kakainis talaga. a few mins later, my sister picked me up, went to the grocery, brought him with me and bought a few of our favorite things: ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, chocnut, chips, lollipop, peanuts and strawberry fruitella.

anyway, i might go shopping today..alone. it's ShopBud's rest day today. i still haven't decided what to buy exactly, but i'll try to stick to my office clothes agenda. grabe. after so many years, i'm going to have to not wear jeans again. at least not most of the time. i decided i'll go ahead and wear the uniform, but i'll set a special day for my office clothes. naku. i'd have to stop buying shoes..and start buying office shoes too. haay.

lapit na naman ng weekend!! no more birthday parties to attend to - no more 151s... killing me in silence.

i think i'm addicted to strawberry fruitella. yum.

why singles stay single after bonding

(30 august, 112a)

in relationships, i think i'm a certificate short of being a guru. (of course, my teachings are not applicable to me..sayang!) went out with two of my singletopia cohabitants. met up with them at napoli, had dinner then coffee at mocha blends, discussed issues that would never pass as juvenalia. our issues for tonight: me and my relationships, MotherSoccer and her newfound/pending independence and GuitarGoddess and her moving on dilemmas. GGs is actually more of empowerment and liberating herself (which she finds so hard to do!) MSs dad just passed away and so now she's suddenly thrown over to the indie pit. i've been friends with both since highschool, and discussing stuff like these made me realize that we do get old. and older.

anyway, MSs' was a sensitive issue, and i feel proud that she's come a long way from being a brat to what she is right now. i love her dearly, well, all of my friends. i guess i just dont show them that, especially if i've known them for more than five years. (my new friends are lucky..hehehe). all i could offer her: support and kind words. with GG though, all i could offer her were not so kind words to toughen her up. basically, it's just take control, empower yourself and be liberated! i think she'll follow my teachings. i do know what i'm talking about...i think!

there is one thing though that is not quite clear to me and to my gfs: what is the philosophy behind lying to someone you don't have a relationship with? at least not have a relationship yet. this baffled us. whether or not there is a pending relationship or an unimagined realtionship between two people, why do guys (oops, zeroing in na ako!!! this is just to make my life easier...hehehe) lie/make excuses to girls, especially when they know the girls they go out with are not dumb and are not their gfs yet. lies to non gfs yet. or non gfs period.

for non gfs yet: these guys have a motive. this is a premeditated crime. be careful. they want to impress you, and not be found out - whether he's doing someone else, wasting his piso texting this girl he used to go out with or wanted to go out with (pre or post you), they're sigurista (an automatic non romantic!)...you might be better off without them (harsh words, eh?)

for non gfs period: these guys are weird! or confused. the fact that you are a non gf period means that they cannot lie to you. they don't have the license to do that. in the first place, non gfs period will never be in that guy's gf/bf relationship, unless these non gfs period are not aware that they are being reclassified as non gfs yet. but sticking to our premise, these guys can't lie, the same way they can't cheat on you. unless he's already emotionally attached to you, or knows that you already are emotionally attached to him. lagot.

sometimes i surprise myself with what i tell or advise my girlfriends. as Sweet80sContraDiva would always say, "May wisdom ka e." I feel that i should have been a psychotherapist or something like that...maybe in a parallel life.

blah morning.

it's september. merry christmas.

i love halloween. i've got so many memories of halloween that i like it more than i like christmas. but since my christmas sucked big time last year, i'm determined to make this year a pleasant one. so determined that i will put christmas before halloween on my list..at least for this year.

i really hated my christmas last year. it was at the office, and so uneventful...well except for this ponkalet that this weird guy gave me...see how weird? ponkalet at christmas? and i've known him for just a few days..sheesh! AND see how pathetic? to even consider that an event to an uneventful day. haaay.

of course, what killed my christmas was the fact that i didnt spend it with my bebe. that was the first time! and definitely the last time that's ever gonna happen. i'll make sure of that...though i dont have any grand plans yet.

meanwhile, here in twang country...

i really am getting tired taking calls. and when i'm tired, i talk too fast. i think my thoughts are holding their own olympics somewhere up there. they're so hyped, giving my vocal chords are hard time catching up.

plus, i didn't get my sausagemcmuffin-hashbrown fix for lunch(!). apparently, my communication skills with my coworkers drastically deteriorated in 15 minutes. i took my break at 530a, and waited for them since they were still talking on the phone. they asked me to patiently wait for them, so we could skip and hop to mcdonald's, with enthusiasm and glee. 15 minutes later, they skipped and hopped to mcdonald's without me. so my sausagemcmuffin-hashbrown turned into a hotdog. (buti na lang malambot yung bread.) she apologized. said she thought i said i'd go ahead and wait for them there. hmm. okay.

i got pissed, i must admit. but i've always been wary of office "friendships." only a few remain. unless you've all been working there your whole lives. oh well, decided to kill the feeling. will just convert that energy for the advancement of my tantric sex studies.

good thing my official shop bud, alexa, is here today. aahh... retail therapy. and then, maybe, a massage later... :)

if only the rain would stop falling...